Everyone knows about this topic. The lolita community is a community based on image, after all. It's a truth that some may be reluctant to admit, but a truth nonetheless. We may judge people more harshly or less so based on their experience, our own preferences, or how much we like the substyle they're representing; but image is still what we are essentially judging.
And Body Image is a large part of that.
There's a huge debate over the whole "Fatty-Chan" thing that I, personally, find ridiculous. So a girl who can't fit into a 38-inch-bust dress. Does that automatically make her fat? No. People come in all shapes and sizes. Some girls are a little bustier; others, such as myself, simply are built stockier than others. I know for a fact that my ribcage would not allow me to wear most brand dresses. Does that make me fat? Not necessarily.
It isn't unheard of for lolitas to go on diets in order to lose weight to fit into a dress. I find nothing wrong with this. It's your priority, if you want to lose 15 pounds to wear your dream dress. All the more power to you, and the best of luck. But somehow, the stress to be able to wear brand stretches into the ability to be thin--since that's about all that brand will fit. I don't mean to say that all girls who wear brand lolitas are stick figures--often, they aren't. But by many "Western" standards, the dresses simply ARE NOT BIG ENOUGH.
In my opinion, this lack of sizing leads to a few issues, including the loss of a potential market for the brands (I read a suggestion by someone on Facebook that actually intrigued me; if, when placing an order with a brand, custom-fit would be an option for those who pre-order; I doubt it will ever happen, but that's a brand's choice, and we're not the ones to judge the way they run their business), but most importantly, the pressure in the lolita community to be small enough to wear brand. As if there wasn't enough pressure in America to be super-skinny to be like the models in the magazines, we are now too large to fit into a dress because it was made for Japanese girls, who (no offense meant here) are substantially smaller than other girls (not to mention the fact that the brand dresses are often substantially shorter on Western girls, as well).
For me, Lolita is about feeling good about myself, and feeling comfortable in my own skin. I love the fashion. I love the dresses I own, the accessories I've made, the people I interact with on the community. But what I hate most is this added pressure to have a waist that I can never have, if I'm to be healthy. Lolita reflects a beauty that should be more than just physical. Lolita reflects someone who is special, and who has the audacity to be different in a world that may not always understand our frills and pettis. It's a place where everyone--regardless of size, race, or any other factor--should be welcome. When it comes to Lolita--the style should fit you. You shouldn't have to fit it. Be yourself before you're a lolita--even if it is a few centimeters more.